Saturday, January 29, 2011

Summer is Slipping Away

Everything in a blink was laid on my heart nearly a year ago. A blog to share my journey to healing through the amazing grace of God. I went as far as to name the blog, and that is where it ended. I was too busy, my life was in chaos and I just simply did not have time to start and maintain a blog. Not to mention opening my life up to the world, all my failures and shortcomings, the struggles and illnesses. To share my very personal relationship with God, become transparent, humble and vulnerable. I argued this with God over and over, but as usual, He does not settle for no, and  that led to the writing of  my first post. Did I publish it? No, but at least I wrote it. but as you may have guessed, that was not enough...  so here I am bending to His will.

This post was written in September of 2010, and as I now listen to the gentle urging to return to this calling, I feel it is relevant to publish this post written so many months ago. So take a moment to think back to the end of last summer, when the days were getting shorter, and our thoughts of sunshine and dragonflies; picnics and fireflies were slowly fading... 

I'm sitting on the deck tonight, the sun sitting lower in in the sky than usual, it's rays dancing through the branches of the trees. The little bugs flitting about desperate to absorb the warmth of the last few minutes of daylight. It is a beautiful sight. In the midst of the splendor of the setting sun, there is a sadness in my heart, a nagging at my soul. The signs are here... another summer gone in a blink. My thoughts drift to missed opportunities to enjoy life, moment by moment, to soak in the beauty of God's creation and to intentionally share that beauty with my family.

I suddenly feel like those little bugs flitting around in desperation, my life spent blindly going from one task to the next, each moment slipping away. Those moments spilling into days, weeks, months... another season gone. That's life, it gets in the way. I try to accept this notion, but I cannot, and soon regret is flooding these thoughts... the sadness remains, my soul is not settled. Then I realize that this very moment is a gift delivered from God. The gift? A lesson wrapped up in the beauty and wonder of His creation. The lesson? He does not intend for me to flit about as a little bug, worrying over the little things and trying to control my world, but to live life to it's fullest. To come to Him each and every day and make a conscious decision to give Him the little things, the big things, to give Him the control, and let Him give me rest. And in that moment I have peace.

By His grace alone,

Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 
Matthew 11:28 NLT

I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
John 10:10 NKJV

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7 NLT

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