Saturday, March 19, 2011

A War Rages

Everyday is a struggle. An uphill battle. A war rages inside. An illness that began when I was just 18 years old.  An illness that keeps me homebound and sometimes bedridden. An illness that brings guilt and anger. Anger that I cannot be who I want to be. Anger that  I could give so much more. Guilt that I have robbed my family of a normal life. Guilt that I have taken a life from my husband, a much deserved life, that he sacrifices everyday for me. An illness not life threatening, but debilitating. 

Today I am thankful for the moment I can spend soaking in sunshine. In this moment He ministers to my heart, my soul. I am reminded that he is in control and gone before me. He has a perfect plan for my life. I surrender. The war ceases and I accept His grace. His sovereignty. I am filled with His peace.

By His grace alone,

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
Jeremiah 29:11


  1. Hi Shelly! Thanks fo signing up to follow my blog. Welcome to our crazy adventure of a life! Blessing to you. ~becky

  2. I am always so thankful for sunshine and how God uses it. Sounds crazy but something so simple can truly make a difference. I can't imagine the struggles you face with your illness.